Back End Play

SE-2934-25-3Although I love getting new toys, the plug I received this month from Cal Exotics sat for almost a week without making its way to our bed.

This evening, before dinner, I mentioned to M that I needed to review it tonight. So after homework and showers and goodnight kisses, we finally made it upstairs to our bedroom. And yet there I sat, not moving towards sex or sex toys or passion of any sort.

But leave it M. He asked for the lube and picked up my new Coco-licious Back End Play butt plug.

  • A silicone plug, the Back End Play comes in either black or pink, and has a flared base that can also serve as a suction cup on a flat surface.

“Give me your ass,” he says.

I roll up on my hands and knees. He begins to rub it against my ass, spreading lube. It seems like it’s been so long since we’ve had any ass play, so long since I’ve been stretched and filled.

He pushes it. Waits, then pushes again. It starts to slip in, and it hurts. It’s been too long.

  • This plug measures from top to bottom at 4.25 inches in length and 1.5 inches in girth.

He senses my hesitancy, and his fingers dip down to my pussy, moving in my wetness, and slip between my lips to play at my opening.

It starts to feel good and I moan as I push back against him. He pushes deeper, and slips a finger inside, telling me what a tight girl I am.

I rearrange, giving him a better angle at my ass. He pushes, and the first bulb slides in.

  • The Coc0-licious plug has two egg-shaped bulbs, making it so one SE-2934-25-3_1goes in, then the other. The top bulb is set at an angle, which can alter the feeling, depending how you have it positioned.

I gasp as my body adjusts to the invasion.

His fingers begin working on my pussy again, slipping to my clit, rubbing me until I’m a mess, moving against him, pushing back on the plug as it stretches me again, wanting more.

Before I know it, the plug’s in and I feel M’s cock pressing against my cunt as his hands grip my hips, holding me in place as he pushes in.

It’s so tight and I can feel him moving against the plug and it feels so different and I’m so full.

My head drops to the bed and my hand drifts between my legs feeling him stretch me, move inside me.

I’m cumming, squeezing against him. He pulls back, the head of his cock balancing at my opening, where the plug makes my pussy extra tight against him. He moves, a few inches in, a few inches out.

  • The unique design of the Back End Play adds a different sensation to sex than a traditional shaped plug. Because of the taper and flare, and the thicker than normal tip of the plug, sex with it in takes on a whole new feeling.

And just that motion, feeling where our bodies join, throws me over the edge. As I clamp down on him, my hands fisted in the sheets, M pulls out, and I topple, juices splashing against my hand as he thrusts back in, fucking me harder.

  • I often have trouble with plugs slipping out while I’m cumming, but this little guy stayed in place rather well. I would like to have a longer neck at the base, just for comfort and fit, but this was not unbearable.

He leans down on me, pressing me between his body and the mattress, and his hand replaces mine, toying with my clit, making me squeeze and convulse around him. His lips are on my neck, on my ear, moving and tasting.

Soon the plug’s removed and we’re back on our knees, his hand fisted in my hair, holding me in place, making me cum again and again as he takes his pleasure in my body, moving me to his command, using me to bring himself to a climax, his cock pulsating inside me with his release.

  • Overall, this plug is a fun toy to add to a toy box. Due to the design and thickness of the plug, I wouldn’t recommend it to beginners or those unfamiliar with anal play.
  • Like most silicone toys, this guy collects lint and small dust particles, so make sure you clean it before and after use with a toy cleaner or soap and water. Don’t use silicone based lubes and keep it away from other silicone based toys.
  • Although we didn’t try it out as such, my guess is this could hit a guy’s p-spot pretty damn well. Just sayin.


Handling Sub-Drop

M and I typically drink on Friday nights, me to forget my week at work and other people’s troubles, and M to appease me. When we find ourselves in bed after our indulgences, we tend to fuck for hours, sometimes so long that the first strands of morning light are peeking through our window.

I spend most Saturdays hung over and miserable.

And I’ve never really thought twice about it. Even if I don’t over indulge on alcohol, between the lack of sleep and dehydration caused by “lost fluids” I’ve never questioned the hangovers.

But a few weeks ago, I stumbled upon a reblog at phoenixasubbie that lead me to this post by Corey (go read it, I’ll wait), and it got me thinking.

Perhaps I wasn’t so much hung over as dropping. My mind fought this for awhile, as most nights we don’t scene or even play heavy, so there would be no reason for me to be dropping. But then when the next week rolled around, and I had only 2 drinks the night before, but felt miserable and depressed and hating on everything the next day, I had to consider it.

And while there may not have been ropes and beatings, clamps or corsets, there was many, many orgasms, sometimes lasting minutes at a time, building and growing until there is nothing left.

I float, so why couldn’t I drop?

So I decided to give Corey’s suggestions a try. Last weekend, before I even got of bed on Saturday morning, my hand made its way between my legs, and although my clit was ultra sensitive, I was able to climax before I got out of bed.

And amazingly, I felt great throughout the day: my head was not in a bad place, I had energy and motivation, and all-in-all, I felt pretty damn good.

Fast-forward to yesterday. I woke up, tired and exhausted. I could hear the children playing downstairs, but was hesitant to get up and start the day, preferring to stay in the warmth of my bed. Soon, M makes his way upstairs, and sits down next to me.

“You gonna get up today?” he asks.

“Um… eventually.”

He smiles down at me. I smile back.

“Remember what I told you last week about the possibility of me dropping, and I was thinking morning orgasms could help?”

He nods, and I watch as his hand glides over his cock, already growing at my words. “I remember.”

“You wanna help?”

Without any hesitation, he has me on my knees, my ass in the air and his fingers are moving over my skin, down my back, across my ass, between my lips. He’s hard in moments and pressing against my wetness.

10 minutes later, I’m dressed and already feeling much, much better.


I can’t yet say that the morning orgasms are helping with the drop, as I’ve just started experimenting with the idea, but so far, so good. *And who doesn’t like morning orgasms anyway*

But it makes sense. I, like Corey, believe that sub-drop occurs due to the massive amounts of hormones that are released during intense play, and when your brain gets back to normal, you go through what can only be explained as a withdrawal.

The morning orgasm lets me get some of those feel-good chemicals released, and it makes my brain happier, therefore I feel better.

I’m going to continue with this idea, and see what comes (cums) from it.


When I first started blogging, my ultimate goal was to get my own url. Lovesexandmarriage was taken by some religious woman who never undated the site and I was right to assume she would eventually stop paying for it and the site would again be open. I decided I would sit and wait, and when it became available, I’d move on to bigger and better things and become a real blogger.

About a year ago, the site went down, but it still wasn’t available due to some stupid thing or another. I was able to research when it would be available for purchase (I have no idea how), and April 2014 is what stuck in my head. It’s been lurking there ever since.

Getting anxious, this week I sat down with a mission to prepare to move the blog. First step, make sure I was right on the date. I went to the site, and lo-and-behold, the url was already free for purchase.

For $2,250.

What. The. Fuck.

Now, if you’ve never looked into this kind of thing, you must understand that I can purchase the same title with a .org or a .net, or even caitlynmcconnell(dot)com for $4 from a hosting company. And yes, there would be fees for hosting and storage and what not (which would total about $65 for start up, and that includes extra perks), but the $2K above doesn’t include any of that stuff either.

So now I find myself in a bit of a conundrum and I don’t know what to do. I don’t trust WP and I want to have the freedom to do what I want to do. But now I can’t do it the way I want to and I’m a bit pissed off about the whole situation and I can’t do a damn thing about it.

Which means I’m faced with a choice… Do I continue here and hope for the best, or do I change it up and proceed forward, just on a slightly different titled path?

If I’m honest with myself, I’m somewhat afraid of the switch. I’m afraid of the task ahead of me if I do move. I’m afraid it will be like starting from scratch. And I just don’t know if I’m up to that right now.

*sigh* Decisions are the worst.

e[lust] # 56

elustheader Photo courtesy of Understanding Flutterby

Welcome to e[lust] - The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at e[lust]. Want to be included in e[lust] #57? Start with the rules, come back April 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

Trick of the Light

What Does Porn Lead To

The Posh Life of a Sex Toy Reviewer?

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

Eleven Quarters

Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Sadists

~ Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

*You really should consider adding your popular posts here too*

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Erotic Fiction

The Watchman
Short Story: Tucked Away
Property’s Progress
Glass Houses
Proud and Prejudged
You’ll Do…. Now Step Closer.
Pet Ballerina
Superotica Valentine – Day 7
Get In Me, Daddy
White Gloves


Posting a photo a day!
How to Handle Your Junk in Public
My first trick on a corner
Mid Morning Musings ~ The Catharsis of Pain
Francesca Woodman Inspired Self Portraits
Eve’s Quandary – Blogging Between Fig Leaves
What I Be

Sex News,Opinion, Interviews, Politics & Humor

Why 3 out of 4 young women don’t masturbate
An Open Letter To Sex Toy Manufacturers
Daily Photo – Day 1: Full Disclosure

Thoughts & Advice on Kink & Fetish

Fantasies, deep and dark
Fun with ropes
Where we started from
Kink from a humbler perspective
To Err Is Human, To Punish May be Advisable
Reader Q&A: How does a sub say ‘no’?
Finding Balance

Erotic Non-Fiction

Sister, Oh Sister
My First Trick
This one’s for you
Angela’s orgasm
His Rope Show
Finger Banging With Daddy
Feeding Submission
Valentine’s Day Diary
Balance at the Boat Launch
Rope, Rhino Cock, and a Balancing Act

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

Monogamous, Kinky Couple-Friends
As Lust Fades
A discussion with Mom
When Did You Realize You Were Dominant?
How to Fake an Orgasm
How To Increase Your Libido Without Cialis

Writing About Writing

Talking Dirty
Fiction! Thank You!


I’m Willing To Earn The Right
Bad habits


Anal Toys

FinalClubLogoI have recently received the privilege of becoming one of Cal Exotic’s Sexperts. Which means *Yay* sex toy reviews!

This month I received Booty Call’s Booty Vibro Kit, which includes a small butt plug, a plug with four “beads” and a bullet vibrator. Both plugs are made of black (or pink) silicone, smooth and soft to the touch. The ends are silicone circles, made to fit the bullet, but also a perfect fit for a finger during partner play.kit

The first is small, 3.75″ in length and barely an inch in diameter at its thickest. The flare is minor and some *read: I* may struggle with it staying in. Personally, it is too small for my preference. Don’t get me wrong, it feels good, and the size is great for in and out play, particularly due to the small flare. But as far as simply wearing it as a plug, once I have a few orgasms, the thing is pushed out without me even realizing it.

If you’re a beginner though, this is a perfect piece to get started with. It’s not intimidating and doesn’t take a lot to get it in. Although it doesn’t stretch you to the point of being uncomfortable, it does have a surprising fullness for its size.

Now the other one, the one with the beads, I like this one a lot. Coming in at 4.5″, its a little longer and has the benefit of the four balls. They go up in size, much like anal beads, the largest being 1.25″ in diameter. Pull this little guy out at certain “opportune” times, and it will soon become one of your favorites.

The bullet runs on 2 AAA batteries and has a wheel to control the speed. The vibration range is surprising and has quite a bit of power at its highest setting. But beware, it is not quiet, so don’t try sneaking it under the covers and expect to not get caught.

Overall, the kit is a perfect anal starter kit for the beginner. But anyone with much anal experience, or who likes to feel a stretch, will be left looking for bigger things.

**Oh, I almost forgot. Don’t ever use silicone lube with silicone toys. It ruins them and makes an icky mess. Store them so they aren’t touching, as silicone sometimes does weird things and molds together. Other than that, silicone is about as safe as it comes and my favorite sex toy material.**


Primary Love Needs

In the last year, I’ve downsized my book collection by at least 60%. The last time I purged, one of the books in the pitch pile was Mars and Venus in Touch by John Gray (the guy who wrote Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, just in case that wasn’t obvious). I flipped through the book, skimming it for anything I might find interesting, and I stumbled upon what Gray calls “The primary love needs of women and men.”

I looked at somewhat like Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, and upon reflection, I found it rather interesting and relevant.

Women need to receive

  1. Caring
  2. Understanding
  3. Respect
  4. Devotion
  5. Validation
  6. Reassurance

Men need to receive

  1. Trust
  2. Acceptance
  3. Appreciation
  4. Admiration
  5. Approval
  6. Encouragement

I found it particularly intriguing in thinking of these needs in a relationship where there is a power dynamic, D/s and, to a point, even kink and BDSM in general.

It seems to me, although I may just be glorifying it in my head, that the dynamic between M and me brought many of these needs into our relationship, some of which were missing before hand.

Now I can only speak for myself, and my relationship, where he’s Sir and I’m toy, for that’s all I know, but I’m willing to bet just about any well-working, healthy D/s relationship encourages all of these aspects.

Let’s run down the women’s needs first. Caring. It’s what a Dom does, in more ways than meets the eye. They care for emotional needs, sometimes physical needs, growth and well-being. The care, or else they wouldn’t have taken on the responsibility.

Understanding, perhaps, is the key. A Dom understands his (or her) sub, often times in ways we don’t understand ourselves. They understand what we need and what we want and what we are afraid of. They understand and they don’t judge. Instead, they respect these things, and us, and work with them to take the relationship higher.

Devotion is a word you often hear out of a sub’s mouth, but let me tell you, a Dom is devoted to his sub just as much as she is to him. Watch a scene between a loving couple, watch the way he watches her; devotion’s a two way street and they walk it together.

Validation happens in so many ways in a power exchange. It’s in the pleasure and the pain. It’s “good girls” and “cum sluts.” It’s in his word and his touch and in his praise. It’s when he gives and when he takes. It’s in his love.

Reassurance is what aftercare  is all about. It’s about him letting you know that everything’s fine and he’s proud of you and he knows you’re doing your best. It’s about praises when you do well and punishment when you do bad. It’s about keeping the balance right and taking control when needed.

When we turn to the men’s needs, D/s holds just as strong. Trust is the first thing a sub gives to her Dom. She has to trust him to move forward in the dynamic. She trusts him with her heart, body, mind, and sometimes even with her life. Without trust, there is nothing.

A sub offers her Dom acceptance, taking him just how he is, flaws and all. When she gives her submission, it is an act of acceptance, for who he is. She accepts his control and his demand, and in return will try to please him as a sign of her acceptance of him. As he does not judge her, she in turn, does not question him.

Appreciation and Admiration go hand in hand, and they are things that we subs try to be good at  (hint: cock worship). We are thankful for our Sirs, the things they do for us and the things given to us (especially the orgasms). And in this appreciation, there is admiration. For me, there is no one that could be a better Sir to me than M, and I know that and I treasure that, and I try to remember it and show him as much as I possibly can.

And lastly, encouragement is given in our sighs of contentment after heavy play. It’s given when we give, all that we can, and allow him to take what he wants. It’s given in the desire to please and to pleasure and to be used. It’s the “Yes, Daddys” and the “please” and the “may Is” that slip from our lips. It’s the arch of our back into his hand and our moans when he fists his hand into our hair.

It’s all of this and so much more.

Those Around You

One of my long-term goals is to become a writer. Well, I write, therefore I guess I am a writer. But I want to be an author. And it’s not about fame or money or publicity (which really doesn’t happen with most writers anyway). And honestly, as much as I’d love to see my name on the cover a book, it’s not even that.

It’s that I want to be good enough to call myself a writer. An author. I want to be good enough to have my words in print.

They say you should always surround yourself with those that have similar goals and throughout my time blogging at WP, I’m lucky enough to have found follow writers and bloggers who have done just that, and now call themselves authors.

I wanted to share them with you, in case you are unaware, because they all rock.

Cara Thereon‘s first book, Discover Me, is a collection of shorts, and for the price, it’s so worth it, a hundred times over.

HH, from My Sex Life with Lola, recently released his first book, Match, Cinder, Spark, which details the joys and tribulations of his life with Lo.

Kayla Lords has a slew of books, check out her Amazon page. She is actually working on her second Sir and Babygirl book now.

Robin Juliet from Off Go the Panties has Trouble and, if I’m not mistaken, is working on a second book currently.

Catherine Bowman‘s  Witch Hitlist is a great paranormal romance, so check out her Amazon Page.

Theo Black details his love with L in Age of Discovery. Absolutely phenomenal.

Elene Sallinger‘s Awakening is not only award winning, but is perhaps one of the best erotic novels I have ever read.

And if you haven’t been around these parts for a few years, you may not have heard of Gillian Colbert, who was once a part of our little community. Although I’m sure many of us miss her, her erotica is still around and it’s fantastic.

Making Her: Scene Stealer #20

Here’s a brief piece of erotica for you, dear reader, inspired by this week’s Scene Stealer from Write to Done. You must start your story with their scene, and this week, you had to use the second-person POV.


You’re surprised when the usher hands you an envelope with your name on it. How would anyone know you’d be watching this movie here, now? You open the envelope…

Your eyes enlarge as you read the words, and when they register, you jerk your head up and search the dark for my face. You glance down, reading the words again, and a slow smile lightens your face as you stand up and walk into the lobby.

Your heartbeat echoes and you worry it’s so loud others can hear it. You slip into the bathroom; your cheeks flushed, already embarrassed at what you’re about to do, but the idea has your panties wet, and you know that will please me.

Locking the stall, you take a deep breath, gaining courage. You sit down, your hand slipping under your skirt, one finger running up the fabric, allowing you to feel the moisture gathering between your lips. Your eyes close as you pull your finger up and over your clit, swollen and aroused.

You spread your legs further and your hand reaches higher, slipping beneath the top of your panties. And when you touch the wetness of your pussy, you gasp, biting your lip to keep quiet as the pleasure spreads. You dip in, surprised by the tightness, first one finger than two. You play, in and out, quick and slow, and as the rhythm grows, your free hand reaches for your breast, pinching the nipple until it peaks, squeezing and pulling.

On edge, your body’s ready for release; you move to circle your clit, fingertip pressing and rolling until your back arches, thrusting into the pressure, and you tumble, letting go. The orgasm comes in waves, crashing against you as you ride it out, hand slowing, dropping, fingers sliding into your dripping pussy, feeling the last of its spasms.

You stay there a moment, catching your breath, then remember where you are and what you’re supposed to be doing. You stand up, slipping your panties over your hips, down your thighs then off.

You walk back into the theater, towards your seat. You slow and look around before dropping the panties in the empty seat 4 rows behind you, as the letter requested. You sit and smile, squirming in your seat.

Five Sentence Fiction: Misunderstanding

Caitlyn McConnell:

If you already read this, I apologize. It’s from my writing blog, but I thought it would be a good fit here too! *hugs and kisses*

Originally posted on Caitlyn McConnell:

**Warning: NSFW. This post contains sexually explicit material. It is solely intended for adults 18 years old and older.**

The Five Sentence Fiction prompt comes from Lillie McFerrin. This week, misunderstanding.


Dar’s excitement was hard to contain as she thought about the night ahead; it was Mac’s 34th birthday and she’d been planning it for nearly two months. She knew he’d be home from work around 7, and therefore asked Christie to be thereby six, leaving them plenty of time for a few drinks before theygot ready. By 6:45, both girls were in bed, stripped down to their undies, lips and tongues dancing as their hands moved over one another, learning and caressing theother’s bodies. At 7 o’clock exactly, they heard the door open and close, and Dar pulled Christie’s pantiesoff as she kissed her way down the woman’s body, wanting to have her face buried between…

View original 57 more words


For years I wasn’t a fan of 69ing. The position exposed more of me than I was comfortable showing and at that point in time, I couldn’t imagine the close up of an ass to be attractive, especially my ass. It made me apprehensive, this discomfort, and therefore jittery and awkward, feeling weird in my own skin.

Don’t get me wrong, there were times I’d enjoyed it, times I’d get past my own head, just feel and be and do. But then another problem arose. It seemed I was easily distracted and 69 was the epitome of my distraction.

How in the hell was I supposed to concentrate on sucking cock when M had my clit in his mouth, sucking and lapping at it? I couldn’t, so I’d do the only thing I could do. Cum.

I’d find myself on all fours, M’s cock in my hand, maybe a slight up and down motion (but very likely not), panting and cumming, arched against his mouth. And I’m not complaining. Truly I’m not. But the problem is once I start cumming, sometimes I can’t stop. I cum and cum and I get so sensitive that even the slightest movement or bit of pressure and I’m set off again. And the whole time I’m cumming, M’s cock is no where near my mouth.

Sometimes I want to give. And give good. And the fact is I can’t give good when I’m getting so damn good.

But M, he’s a big fan of 69, so it’s held its presence in our bedroom and no matter how much I protested, it lingered, always there, always calling.

Eventually, things fell into place and we developed a rhythm. I no longer worry about my ass in his face or if my mouth is wrapped around him cock at any given moment. I learned to shut off my brain, relax and enjoy.

Now I love it as much as M. And sometimes I think I may enjoy it even more. It creates these fantastic fucking feelings, feelings so good they can’t be recreated. Pleasure so intense, I struggle to put it into words.

Last Friday, we’d been playing for an hour or so. I’m on my knees, sideways in bed, sucking his cock. He’s as deep as I can take him and I’m gagging every second or third thrust, spit dripping out of my mouth when I pull off for air. I’ve cum dozens of times, completely over-stimulated with M’s left hand moving between my pussy and ass, his right wrapped in my hair, controlling my movement, pushing deeper into my mouth.

I’m lost in his cock and not prepared when he pulls me, lifting me over him, a leg settling on each side of his head. His tongue darts out, flicks across my clit. My mouth slips from his cock, replaced by my hand, jacking him up and down, up and down, and I cum so hard I soak the sheets beneath his head.

Soon I’m flat against him, stomach to stomach, his cock down my throat as he pulls my clit into his mouth, sucking with just the right amount of pressure to make me lose it.

And within moments, I’m gone. The motions between us ebb and flow, crashing and retreating. I cum for seconds, minutes, what seems like hours and days. It doesn’t stop, but peaks and holds, then goes higher and higher again.

His cock is so deep in my mouth, I barely breathe, and perhaps it is the lack of oxygen that makes me see stars. Makes me forget my name, forget everything but Him and his cock and his tongue. His control and his love.


It’s the only word that comes close to describing the feeling.

I can’t guess how long we stayed like this, his cock impaled in my mouth, my cunt grinding on his tongue and lips and teeth. When I’m there, lost, floating, time doesn’t exist. It could have been moments or it could have been eternity. I wouldn’t have known the difference.

When we finally broke and he rolled me onto my back before burying himself inside me, tears of pleasure-filled euphoria spilled from my eyes.