Swallow, It’s Good For You: Health Benefits of Semen

English: BDSM sex slave provides oral sex whil...

English: BDSM sex slave provides oral sex while leashed and tied (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Sorry ladies, I know I shouldn’t be encouraging the guys out there to pressure you into swallowing, but I’ve thought about this lately and decided to do a bit of research on the subject, and lo and behold, it turns out that swallowing cum can help you out, in more ways than just getting those new shoes you’ve been eyeing up.  Not only is it full of protein, but it has other benefits as well.  It took some time to sift through the myths and get to the facts of the matter, but I, the dedicated cum-swallower, did and (most) of the information below is from reputable sources.  That being said, one thing I do want to clarify, is even in the university and hospital studies, researchers often seem to make the jump from things being beneficial through absorption of the vaginal walls, to having the same benefits if swallowed.  I, my dear friends, am a human service worker, dealing with addicts and mental health, and have not done real research for a number of years.  Hence, I am not a scientific expert, and I do not know if this is the case.  But regardless, here we go…

Health Benefits

Pregnancy in the 26th week.

Pregnancy in the 26th week. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

  • Semen, when “ingested orally” lowers the risk of preeclampsia in pregnant women (in case you didn’t know, preeclampsia causes high blood pressure which can result in difficulties in both mother and baby, and often leads to bed-rest in the third trimester).  So, if your Mrs. is knocked up, and her bp is starting to run high, go ahead and jam your cock down her throat…  Afterall, you want the very best for your offspring!
  • Obviously, semen is a natural source of proteins and vitamins.  It contains a ton of shit, but the things that everyone will recognize include Vitamin C, calcium, citric acid, creatine (helps build muscles), potassium, Vitamin B12, zinc, and many others.  I don’t know.  Maybe if you start sucking your man off in the morning with your first cup of coffee, you can forgo that giant multi-vitamin you’ve been taking.  Really, many of the vitamins on the market don’t absorb well in the digestive tract anyway, and end up coming out in the same form they went in.
  • Semen contain certain antigens, which are what your body uses to produce antibodies, and therefore benefits the immune system.  I don’t know if you’re thinking what I’m thinking, but it is allergy season up here in the Northeast…  Maybe it’s time to pull down his pants and gobble on his junk.  It should would be nice when your eyes quit itching and the sneezing stops.
  • According to studies done on everything from lab rats to fruit flies to red blood cells, spunk reduces the effects of aging.  By reducing the amount of free radicals, spermidine is thought to increase the life span of cells, and therefore, we hope, make us a bit healthier and have a better longevity.  One Austrian study demonstrated that worms treated with spermidine increased their life spans by as much as 15% in comparison with the control group.  Based on this research, other studies have sprung up and concluded that those women who have “regular contact” with semen, on average, have increased their lifespan by as much as 35%.
  • And, ladies, anytime you are reducing free radicals in your system, you are lowering the effects of age, and therefore reducing the amount of wrinkles.  Who doesn’t want less wrinkles?  Fuck, I’ll do an extra two shots of cum every morning if it will keep crow’s-feet at bay!
  • I was unable to find a reliable source, but it seems that there are “studies” out there somewhere that claim semen can help lower the risk of cancer, most specifically breast cancer, in women.  This is based on research comparing women who use barrier methods of contraception (condoms, diaphragms, etc) and those that do not.  I’m not holding my breath on this one, but you know what, if it convinces your woman to swallow up your cock, than run with it, my friend.
  • The average load only contains about 15 calories, so, really, it’s a great way to jump-start your diet.  15 calories!  I think I’ll take a second serving of that!

Psychological Benefits

Semen

Semen (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

  • Your man’s jizz is filled with mood enhancing chemicals and neurotransmitters.  These include oxytocin, cortisol, prolactin, and serotonin.  For any of you familiar with antidepressants, the most commonly prescribed (such as Prozac and Zoloft) are SSRIs, which, through a series of events that are not needed to be explained right here, increase the levels of serotonin in your brain.  Maybe you can forgo the pills (and the limited libido and dry mouth that accompanies them) and start sucking some cock instead.  I mean, cum on, sucking cock should put a smile on your face regardless of the increase of neurotransmitters, right!
  • Semen also contains melatonin, which is a naturally occurring brain chemical that aids in inducing sleep.  For those with insomnia, your doctor may have recommended you take a melatonin supplement, which you can buy over the counter at Walgreens.  But why waste the money when you can simply chrome his dome and save yourself a few bucks.  Think about it, you’d also be saving gas and the trees will thank you for that.
  • And let’s not even talk about the real benefits of sucking your man off, regardless if you swallow his spunk or not.  It makes you feel closer, increases bonding and emotional responses.  And, at least for me, makes me randy as fucking hell.

Make it Tastier

മലയാളം: കൈതച്ചക്ക നെടുകെ ഛേദിച്ചത്

മലയാളം: കൈതച്ചക്ക നെടുകെ ഛേദിച്ചത് (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

  • This first list of things is not so much for the taste, but to better the quality of your cum.  If you are concerned about your lady’s health, and want to make your semen as healthy as possible for her, loaded up with minerals and nutrients, add a few of these things to your daily diet:  Brazilian nuts, sunflower seeds, eggs, chicken breast, tuna, onions, tomatoes, bran, barley, mushrooms, apples, citrus fruits, leaks, carrots, and radishes.
  • One of the biggest complaints that I have about spunk is not necessarily the taste, but the consistency.  Sometimes the shit is too damn thick and if it’s not shot at the back of my throat, it’s hard for me to get it down.  The number one way to keep the consistency normal, drink water.  Staying  hydrated not only keeps your splooge from thickening, it also keeps the salty, bitter taste at ease.  So grab a bottle of water, or three, and drink it like it’s a 90 degree day.  When you are working on blacktop.  In a sweatsuit.  You get the picture.
  • Everyone agrees that vegetarians have the best tasting cum.  From gay men to prostitutes to porn stars, if given the choice, they will all go with the herbivores over the carnivores any day.  (Fuck, I’m glad I don’t have to worry about this, because I love my meat *haha* and I’m not giving up a rare steak for anything).
  • Fruits and mints seem to be the number one things to add to your diet to increase the pleasurable taste of your spunk.  Specifically mentioned are plums, nectarines, oranges, limes, lemons, spearmint, peppermint, parsley, cilantro, grapefruit, and green tea.  pineapple, more than anything else, was recommended in just about everything I read.  So grab some pineapple juice and let’s start doing some body shots with it or something, because if you want better tasting cum, you best start here.
  • If you are a drinker, naturally fermented beers are the way to go.  I didn’t look into the why of this, as I’m trying to wrap this post up so I can get fucked, so you are just going to have to trust me on this one.

Things That Make Your Spunk Funky

English: A man ejaculating onto a woman's tong...

English: A man ejaculating onto a woman’s tongue, commonly referred to as an oral cumshot. Deutsch: Ein Man ejakuliert auf die Zunge einer Frau. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

  • Any veggie in the cabbage family.  Although I love cabbage and broccoli and cauliflower and brussel sprouts, I think we can all agree that they are not the best smelling things around.  I don’t know, maybe it’s something about the sulphur in it, who the fuck knows really?  Well, I’m  sure there are lots of people who know, but I’m not one of them.  But I’m just saying, if you are trying to improve the taste of your cum, avoid these vegetables like you did when you were six.
  • Do NOT eat asparagus.  It belongs to the cabbage family (I think) so already it’s got genetics stacked against it.  But, literally, every stinking thing I looked at said that it fucks with your spunk.  So just don’t do it.  And if you do, either don’t cum in her mouth for a few days (it takes about 24 hours to metabolize in your system and begin to work its way out) or offer her a Lifesaver or something.
  • Other things to avoid:  smoking, drinking liqueur, dairy products, drugs, caffeine, and red meat.  Fuck, sometimes I’m glad I’m not a dude.  I don’t want to give up any of these things!

And one last thing…  I stole this from Don’t Spit Swallow and felt I had to include it, because, cum on, who doesn’t want a “Super Spunk Smoothie” a drink that “incorporates many popular cum-enhancing ingredients, as well as some used by cum-flavoring supplements.”

Super Spunk Smoothie
1 cup pineapple

1 banana

frozen 1 cup apple juice

1/2 tsp ginger

1/2 tsp cinnamon

1/4 tsp nutmeg

1/2 tsp vanilla extract

2 TBS honey

Optional ingredients: 1 raw egg white, 2 TBS wheat germ, 2 TBS flax seed, 1 shot wheatgrass juice
Blend all ingredients in a blender until smooth. Drink immediately. Repeat daily for best results.

 

And the song of the day is from one of my all time favorite films…

44 responses to “Swallow, It’s Good For You: Health Benefits of Semen

  1. Gillian Colbert

    Oh, love, men every where just got hard armed with this info to keep their ladies from spitting!

    This reminded me of one of my favorite D.L. Hughley skits on how swallowing semen prevents breast cancer LOL

    http://comedians.jokes.com/dl-hughley/videos/d-l–hughley—university-study/

    • Haha. That’s why the first words are “Sorry ladies…” But, my dear, facts are facts and I’m just here to present them! I’ll check out the link in the morning, as it is waaaay past my bedtime! *hugs and kisses* love!

      • Gillian Colbert

        Personally, I have no issue swallowing … or I should say, when it tastes okay. I hate it after beer or stake, but swallowing in general seems a hell of a lot more sexy and erotic than spitting.

        My issue is guys who are squeamish about their cum. I mean WTF? You can kiss me after going down on me but not kiss me after I give you head? Hypocrite much?

        Yeah, I’m feeling ranty this morning!

      • I agree. I mean, I’m not expecting you to lick it off my tits or anything, after all it is an aquired taste, but at least give me a kiss!!

  2. LSAM. I loved this post. I showed it to my friends at work on the night shift. I learned some new things. Who knew something I have enjoyed ever since I started having sex was so good for me. It is just another bonus to add to the list of why I love to suck cock. And oh how I do love it!! And also The meaning of life, is one of my all time favorite movies. :)

    • Hi Ginger! I’m so glad you liked it! And isn’t it great when you find out something you is good for you; too bad no ones come out and said “hey chocolate makes you lose weight!” Then my life would be perfect: chocolate and cum, what more would I need! And thanks for sharing, that means a lot. Monty Python is one of my all time favorite, from Flying Circus to Life with Brian, I will be in tears from laughing before the jokes even start! And, hell, I can’t see a coconut cut in half without cracking up (from Holy Grail). Have a great day babe! xoxoxo

  3. Great post! I shall definitely be sending the link to H :-) That smoothie recipe sounds awesome. I also love cum, anywhere any time, though some days it definitely goes down easier than others!

    • Right! Sometimes it’s just not the same as others. Thanks for reading and for sharing, dear! *hugs and kisses*

      • Haha, I was just chatting to H about it prior to sending him the link, and said I would be buying him some pineapple juice. He just smiled and said, ‘you don’t need any more reasons….’ Hmmmm some sex fatigue starting to creep up on my indefatiguable husband I think… my sex drive is finally overtaking his!!!

      • EE… haha. I’m going and getting pineapple juice tonight! And maybe you should pick up some oysters while your at it!!

  4. Lol I love the way you present your research! Troy used to drink pineapple juice everyday and his jizz was goddamned delicious. Not, an I want a cup of your spunk with my toast kind of delish, but still fucking tasty!!

    • Hi love! Yes, I just told M this morning that pineapple juice was going to become a staple with our breakfast! Thanks for reading babe. *hugs and kisses*

      • Boring note. Remember not to brush your teeth within half an hour of drinking the pineapple juice, if possible. Its like orange juice in that it softens the enamel and brushing too soon can cause damage.

      • I did not know this Nick, thanks for the info! We don’t need all our men having their teeth fall out!

  5. As if I don’t think about cocksucking enough (and I think about it a whole lot). Well, the next chance I get, I will do what’s necessary for my health. Lol.

  6. LS&M – I think this post will become a standard included reference in all future issues of FHM and similar lads mags! You will have men all over the world worshipping your words.
    You will know you’ve made it big time when you get quoted in Cosmo:-)
    Universal love will be yours when you are cited in “The Green Grocer and Fruits Weekly”.

  7. yes, Nick, you sometimes do! And that’s why we keep you around! *hugs and kisses*

  8. LMFAO – funniest thing I’ve seen in ages!
    And how the hell did Python ever get away with kids singing about jizz? (I think I must be one of those pagans mentioned by the nuns, as I have indeed spilt mine on mountain, hill and plain.)

    But seriously …
    1) I really feel I should point my Wife at this. (If only I could think of way not to tell Her I spend my free time wasting semen over sex blogs.) And as we live in a mostly vegitarian house, it’s not even as if I’d offer her anything unplesant tasting.
    2) As a hayfever sufferer, would I benefit from swallowing my own cum, or do I need to suck off the neighbour?
    3) As an occasional insomniac … see above?

    • First, good to see you buddy. Second, its a great song. I showed it to M the night I wrote the post, and perhaps he as disturbed by all the children singing of sperm, but regardless, a classic. Third, send your wife to the blog… maybe it will take her to yours, and she’ll read it, and she’ll start fucking your brains out. Maybe. Just sayin’, it could happen. Did wonders for my sex life… As far as your questions, I would say your own cum would boost your immune system, but if you want to suck of your neighbor, I retract that, and say yes, it must NOT be your own jizz. As far as the melatonin, it shouldn’t matter whose spunk it is, as your melatonin is the same as my melatonin…

      • Direct my Wife here? Ha ha. I think not. She is opposed to things as vanilla as soft porn (though I suspect with no real experience of it) and as for some of my less vanilla tastes … well … as much as I’d like her to taste my vanilla on a daily basis, I think we should start with smaller steps.
        As much as I’m not opposed to the idea of giving another guy blowjob (in principal), I don’t thing there are any semen producers locally that I’d be interested in going down on. Some of their wifes, perhapse … but that’s another story. Maybe I’ll try a bed time wank and swallow my own load.

      • Ah, Accidental, I’ve missed you! As far as your wife is concerned, well you know her best. Perhaps I should write something on the “wifley duties” and why when there is a ring on your finger it’s your responsibility to fuck the shit out of your man @ least twice a week… hell, in your case, once a week would be better than now…

        And in regards to the cum swallowing, you’re gonna have to share with me if you actually do that. I’m very interested to see how it works out my friend. *hugs and kisses*

  9. I wish to thank you for the service you have provided to men everywhere through this post! It is much appreciated, and I plan on emailing a link to my wife immediately! :-)

  10. Wouldn’t these benefits extend to men who swallow too? I have always fantasized about eating cum since I began watching pornography. I’ve swallowed once and it was very pleasant. Maybe my body is craving the good nutrition?

    I have a long experience with depression, and it’s very appealing to think that ingesting semen could brighten my day. Maybe (mostly) straight men should consider swallowing. I’m probably dreaming but I don’t understand why anyone wouldn’t want a mouthful.

    • Yes, the benefits would extend to men; I don’t see how they couldn’t.

      And, although I too love cum, there are sometimes (or maybe it’s some guys) that it just doesn’t taste right. *shrug* idk.

  11. Pingback: Self-Indulgent LSAM Stats History | Love Sex and Marriage

  12. i think it is good for health and an entertainment for the mind if we eat the cum of our best friend?

  13. I am a man who enjoys my own cum.

    Let me begin by saying my wife and I are both oral. Which is important to us, and makes sex so much more enjoyable. Giving good sex gets good sex in return. .

    When my wife sucks me off, she comes up to me and we kiss and share my cum. We like to talk during sex. When she is sucking me she asks in a teasing way if I want to taste my own cum. Of course, I reply yes. I then asks her to promise me she will share it with me. She confirms yes and says it’ll be a big load. I promise to “swallow” all of it for her. We talk about how hot my cum is, how thick it is, and salty it is, and how much I love the texture of it. We enjoy key words like “cock” and “swallow” This talking is so erotic and just leads me closer to orgasm.

    After she brings my cum to me, she puts it in my mouth and then she goes back down and cleans me off with her mouth. If there is a lot there, she bring me more with her mouth. She also wipes all of the other cum on my belly upwards onto my chest and nipples and doesn’t let me wipe it off. She rubs it all over my chest utility is all gone.

    Other times, when we have missionary sex, sometimes she tells me she wants me to clean all my cum from her pussy after I cum in her. Just to hear saying that almost puts me into an instant orgasm. I worship her pussy every time I can. When she asks me to clean my cum from her pussy, it makes it that much more desirable. I clean it with my mouth and then we kiss and share the fluids together.

    This happens almost each time we have sex. I am a blessed man.

    Bob

  14. Yes, inviting her to swallow makes her a more happy woman, says Psychology Today:

    http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/all-about-sex/201101/attention-ladies-semen-is-antidepressant

    Oh, it makes the guy happier, too. Trust me. I’m a guy.

  15. My ex-husband smoked like a chimney and had the nastiest tasting cum EVER! I also think body chemistry has a lot to do with it. My Sir eats plenty of meat and cruciferous veggies and it has no bearing on taste. He is very healthy and does liver cleanses on and off as well as taking probotics daily. He works out hard and detoxes in the steamroom frequently. You have to have a healthy digestive system first and foremost.

    • Absolutely right elle! I figure if you’re healthy, eating right and keeping your systems on track, you’ve got nothing to worry about. But that’s not to say that I don’t keep a stock of pineapple in house… just sayin’. *hugs and kisses*

  16. Amen to the pineapple!

  17. Thanks for the YouTube clip on wasted sperm.
    Actually did you know that married Catholics can use a condom during sex provided they prick (!) a hole in the thing before; to make babies “possible” in the event. The more faith you have, the less sin you have. Faith/sin is judged by just how far down the shaft you poke the “faith hole”. I wish I was making this up.
    But, alas, even married sex/intercourse between Catholic spouses is sin but bumped down from “mortal/Big” sin to “venial/little” sin if babies are being made and that’s your intent in the romp. Your clip here explains the madness of St. Augustine’s 4th century sex theology. Thanks for the reminder.

    • You’ve got to admit, Monty Python’s great!
      Today, my grandmother, a cradle Catholic, and I were talking about a new story I’m working on. She tells me, “I’m so glad you’re writing this kind of stuff now.” She pauses, then her voice drops to a whisper, “Not that… raunchy sex stuff like before.
      Oh, if only she knew. xoxo

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