Utter Randomness

So, this post has nothing to do with anything.  It’s not about sex (I know, right?  Sorry ’bout that).  So, if you’re here to read about fucking the best way you can, just come back another day or hit the archives (I did throw a couple of links and a meme at the end, if you are interested).  If you stick around, you’ve been warned, complete randomness is ensuing…

First on the agenda…  today, we were at the local damn, as there was +1 munchkin at my pops, and my three are hard enough to handle there, let alone a forth.  So off to the park we headed, with four kids under foot.  And as we were looking for a place to grill out that also had a playground, we stumbled upon this place…

The thing that’s special about this place, is that there is a ball field on the other side of the pavilion, and my Grandpa Punchy (no joke, first time I’ve ever used a real name on LSAM) and his softball team used to play here.  This is the playground that I would play on during games and practice.  What’s so special about that, you may ask, as I used to play on thousands of playgrounds?  Well, you see, if you look closely at this picture…

…you will see that there is a rung missing, the third one down.  Now, it makes sense that there is no rung there, as children can go through that spot to get down.  But it wasn’t always that way.  Last time I was at this playground, I was probably eight.  And I climbed up onto this platform, and got too scared to go across the monkey bars.  So, instead of going up and over the bars (a bit afraid to do that as well), I decided to squeeze through the bars.  Good idea little LSAM.  Got my legs through.  My hips and chest.  And turned my head sideways, in an attempt to make it the skinniest possible.  But, apparently I’ve always had a big head (or perhaps an innate ability to find myself in tight places) and I got to where I couldn’t fit my head through.  I tried to back out.  Shit, my tiny mind thought right before the tears started…  The other little girl at the playground ran to get my parents, and my stepfather had to cut the steel bar to get my head out…  ah, memories.

Second, just a funny little thing.  Some sort of sensor went out in our mini van (three kids and a dog make a mini van a necessity) and M was looking it up online.  And in his search he came across this description…

Well, it made me laugh anyway.

The fourth munchkin mentioned above is my cousin’s son, who was with us today due to a family emergency.  This is the shirt he was wearing when I picked him up…

Now, if I could only find it in M’s size…

And my links page is getting kind of full, so I’m going to share some mid-week reading with you…

• Sex Toys You Didn’t Know You Had — This I’m posting for those of you that don’t have any sex toys **What the fuck people?  I had my first vibrator before I had a driver’s license!  Well, that might explain a few things**  But, really, for those of you that don’t have any toys, for whatever the reason, check this out.  You may be surprised at what you find…  For those of us that have a Hitachi, well, we may be out of luck using these, but all in all, there are some interesting suggestions…
• Our Nation of Moaner — I’m noisy when I fuck.  No doubt about it.  I’m the chick that the neighbors hate or that’s in the hotel room above you, yelling like I’m being beat.  Oh, wait, maybe I am…  Anyway, this piece describes the science behind the noise.
• 10 Things Men Like About Breasts — Only ten!  Come on!  But seriously, this was a great, light-hearted read.  And, it’s interesting, I’m a big fan of Desmond Morris, and my favorite book of his is The Naked Ape, and in it he discusses a lot about the sexual activities of man (if you are all interested in the man as animal science, you must check this book out, even though it’s pretty old).  Morris proposes that females’ breasts developed as they did to mimic an ass, as the ass, in primates, typically protrudes and is visible.  When we started walking upright, this took much of that aspect away…  Who knows, but in a “research study” done by the Man Show or Art Mann Presents or something along those lines, it was determined that no matter what they say, men, in general, are more attracted to asses then tits.  Therefore, the late night TV confirmed it for me…
• Sex Fact or Fiction — This is a sexual quiz put out by WebMD.  I don’t want to give away any of the answers, but fuck people, you need to start screwing more!!  I did not do to well on this little thing.  Apparently, I think my sex life is not that abnormal.  I must be wrong on that count.
• The Origins of Sex — Brief review on a new book that has some interesting facts, such as when they were discussing the middle ages and said “Women, however, were supposed to be weaker than men morally, less able to control and subdue their unchaste urges.”  Ha, I don’t know if it’s true or not, but I thought it was comical.
• Sex, Facing Death — Fuck, I don’t know what to say about this one, but if you are going to read one, make it this.  It’s disturbing, on one level, yet heart-breaking and soulful on another.  For once, dear reader, I think I may be rendered speechless…

That’s it for the links right now folks, but here’s a quick little meme for you, just because I love them…

This week’s TMI Tuesday theme is…

We want to know what thing you’ve done the most times.

1. What sex position have you been in the most times?

• Doggy style for sure, or one of it’s varieties.  Mostly on my knees on a bed.  But sometimes standing, bent over the bed.  Depends on if I’m wearing heels or not, I think.  But, yes, definitely fucked doggy style more than any other.

2. What book have you read …?

• More than any other…  That’s a hard one.  Probably either Charlotte’s Web or Where the Red Fern Grows, as I used to read each of these multiple times a year when I was a kid, and now I read them to my girls.  But, as an adult, it would have to be The Taming of Beauty series by Anne Rice.  It kicks ass.  Go get yourself a copy.

3. What movie have you watched …?

• There are five that probably come in for a close tie…  1.  The Sound of Music.  2.  The Wizard of Oz.  3.  Fight Club.  4.  Girls Just Wanna Have Fun (ladies, if you’ve never seen this, you need to get it on Netflix or something…  Sarah Jessica Parker and Helen Hunt as teenagers.  It is my all time favorite.)  5.  The Quest for the Holy Grail.  Shit…  it may be The Breakfast Club or Grease.  Damn.  I just don’t know!

4. In the last week, who have you texted … ? (no names, list the relationship or type of person)

• M, no doubt about it.

5. In the last week, what food have you eaten …?

• Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.  It’s hot and I’m not a fan of leaving lunch meat sandwiches in my car when it’s 90.  Hence, I opt for the old stand-by PB&J.

6. Today, which website have you visited …?

• Gmail.

7. When dining out, where have you eaten …?

• Only dined out once, and it was to McDonalds.  Actually didn’t even eat there, but at a local park.  I ate a Grilled Chicken Cesar Salad, but only because M ordered me the wrong thing.  Typically I get the Grilled Chicken Southwest Salad.  But it worked out, the cesar had less calories!

8. Which sex toy have you used …?

• My Hitachi Wand.  Once you have a wand, you really don’t need anything else…  Well, in theory.

Bonus:  Is there something you’d love to go back and relive in your sexual past? (Thank you to Husband of Two Sexual Minds for this week’s bonus question)

• I’ve never fucked when rolling (eating Ecstasy).  I’d really like to do this, although I’m not sure I’d actually like to take the pill, as most are cut with heroin or meth…  But fuck, I’d really like to fuck on e.  I guess we’ll just have to wait and find out how those cookies crumble…

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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

And, finally, I know, I’m wrapping this shit up with the song of the day…  I don’t know if I’ve shared this one before, but this guy fucking rocks!  Rahzel is, by far, my favorite beatboxer…  Fantastic thing seen here.  Give it a chance, as there is a bit of talking at the beginning, but I wanted to find the live version, so you could actually see it…