So… There is so much I would like to say that I can’t seem to verbalize. I have feelings of elation and love, yet heartache, but I sit here with my fingers on the keyboard and they refuse to move. So… I’m going to do what I do best, and turn it straight to sex…
I’m reading 50 Shades (I know, I know), and there was a piece of dialogue, something like, “You’ll please me because you want to,” and it got me thinking about somethings. And just the other day I was talking to a friend about Dom’s and what makes a good Dom. Not necessarily in what they do, but in why they do it, what their motivation is.
And then tonight, well shit, I don’t know why this popped in my head tonight, as I’ve had two days in this blistering, stupid hot sun (although I love the sun) and something along the lines of 372% humility. A pool party and then an evening at the beach can be draining, especially when, for some ungodly reason, I was rarely drinking any water and I am now completely dehydrated… See look at this shit, I’m rambling about the heat when I’m supposed to be talking about sex. Shit. Focus LSAM. It’s almost bedtime.
Yes, so anyway. I was thinking about M’s style of Domming (is that a word?) and how much I feel spoiled. We fuck just about everyday, unless we are utterly exhausted. This morning, I didn’t want to get out of bed and was all “But Daddy… I don’t want to get up,” while stretching out on the bed, arching my back (completely unintentionally by the way), trying to get him to just go back down stairs and let me sleep (one of the kiddos was up on and off all night — too much stuff going on throughout the day with the party and swimming and fireworks, and she was way over-stimulated). M must have said something or other, and somehow I said that I wanted to cum, and asked him to make me squirt. I truly didn’t think he would, as he only had 15 minutes before he had to leave for work. But he looked down at me, kind of gave a *huff* and then told me to turn around. One thing led to another and within 10 minutes I was laying in a puddle. So, yeah, I guess I’m kind of spoiled.
And this thought process led to me thinking why does he spoil me so much, as it wasn’t necessarily something that I expected when this dynamic stated (and, no Sir, I’m not complaining, you know how much I love it when you make me cum). So, why does he spoil me? What does he want to pleasure me so much? How am I the sub and cumming all the fucking time?
And, I think it’s because I try to please him. And not just because he pleasures me for it, as I had not quite connected those two together until I started this thought process. But yes, I think he pleasures me as much as he does, because I please him. I try to be a good little girl (or cum slut, depending) and make him happy. Because I want to. For no other reason than that. Because he is my Man, and I love him, and I want to please him. I want to be a good wife. A good lover. A good sub. Just for the intrinsic joy of pleasing him.
So this becomes a cycle. I do what I can to please him, and he, in turn, he gives me massive amounts of pleasure. And because of the massive amounts of pleasure, I am a happy girl, who wants to please her Sir. Because I love him, and he makes me happy, and he’s hot. And he can make me cum like a mother fucker. This leads me to adore him at times. And guess what that adoration leads to… Yeppers, him giving me more pleasure.
And what’s killer (in a good way) is that the more pleasure I get, as in the harder I cum, and the more I squirt, the more I please him. So in actuality, my pleasure ends up being the thing that pleases him the most. So, you can see, it creates this infinity of pleasure and happiness on both our ends.
And don’t get me wrong. There is pain involved. Good pain. And sometimes bad pain, when necessary. Afterall, I am his and there are times when I displease him. Times when I’m a full-out brat. But even these times of discipline, thus far they have always ended in massive amounts of pleasure, often flying type pleasure, where I get lost in lust. Damn. I shouldn’t talk like that. M’s asleep and I’ll end up needing fucked and, well, like I said, two days in the sun with friends and family and kids and water, we need our rest. Especially since it’s the weekend and that means lots of kinky sex… And spanking. And cock sucking. And pussy licking. And fuck. See, all distracted again from the task at hand.
What am I writing about again? Right, the desire to please. To wrap this up, I’ve always had the desire to please M, even before the dynamic. But D/s gave me the structure and environment that I was lacking before. It gives me a medium on which to display my submission. And the more M sees my submission, the more he encourages me, pleasuring me. And my desire to please him grows, exponentially.
Fuck, I think I’ve repeated myself 15 times and just keep saying the same thing over and over. I guess that means it’s time for bed.
Good night y’all, and have a great weekend, just in case I don’t make it back on. Hoping to throw down my share of liquer tomorrow night, so blogging may be off the scheduler. Captian Morgan and Yukon Jack tend to do that to a girl at times!
And so, right before M fell asleep tonight, I asked him, “What motivates you to be a Dom? Why do you like it?”
- I like it because I’m a physical person in general. Physically aggressive.
- The fact that you (me, LSAM) want it, and who am I not to give it to you.
- Because I’m a man and grew up thinking that men took care of business, not just in the bedroom or at work, but everywhere.
- And come on, he says, who wouldn’t want to have a woman wrapped around your finger.
And then he looked at me and said, are you really typing out what I just said?! Whopsie!
*hugs and kisses*
And positive, loving thoughts to those in need. Compassion, I think, might be a good word for me today.
And the song of the day…