This is Why I do What I do: 2013 Sex Survey

If you read regularly, you make remember a few months ago, when I was ranting about the iVillage 2013 Sex Survey. Well, I just wanted to warn you, I’m doing it again.

Be prepared.

And I promise, I’m at least going to try and not repeat what I said last time. We’ll see how that goes.

Obligations

• 59% of women and 39% of men report having sex out of obligation, at least sometimes. They say this like it’s a bad thing, and I don’t think it’s a bad thing at all. As a matter of fact, I think it’s a wonderful thing. See, here’s the thing — sometimes you’re not in the mood, and that’s okay. But what happens when you’re not in the mood for a week, 2 weeks, a month, 5 months? You get the picture. When you’re not having sex, a terrible thing can happen… You can stop wanting sex. So don’t let that happen. Have sex, even when you don’t want it, at least once in awhile. And there’s a good fucking chance that if you do put out, and actively participate (come on girls, don’t just lay there like a log, partake in the enjoyment), you’ll end up being glad you did.

Libido

• 43% of women have been in the mood within the last week. 55% of men have. What the fuck? Don’t people want to fuck? I think I started masturbating regularly at 12 or 13. I can’t think of a whole week that has ever gone by in those 20 years that I haven’t wanted to cum. No wonder people are such assholes! Christ, everyone’s bent up sexual frustration is leaking out onto the streets and the sales of antidepressants are skyrocketing. Fuck more, people, you’ll be happier. I promise you that.
  

Turn Offs

• Top turn offs: Stress — women 49%, men 37%. Exhaustion — women 46%, men 30%. You want to know something? Sex, both with and without orgasms, releases stress due to the increase in oxytocin. Oh, and one more thing… Sex helps you sleep better, relaxes you, and makes you feel closer to your partner. Yeah, so go get laid; the stress levels will drop. Promise.

Snooping

• 34 % of men and 20% of women admit to checking their spouses phone for evidence of cheating. Okay. People cheat. 1 in 5, they say. But let me tell you something. If you are looking for something, trying to find some little piece of evidence against your partner, chances are you are going to find it whether it’s there or not. Does that make any sense? What I’m trying to say is that if you are looking to find something, there is a good chance you will come across something innocent, and make it into something big. Honestly, I think most people who cheat are smart about it. They don’t leave blatant evidence laying around to be found. Just sayin’.
  

Porn

• 63% of women say they never watch online porn. Why the fuck not? I think this is a lie. I watch online porn all the time. I didn’t know other people didn’t. At least not people that would take part in an online sex survey! People need to masturbate more. You hear me? Go now. Rub one down. It’s good for you for christ’s sake!

Best Sex

• 45% of women and 68% of men say they married the best sex of their lives. Damn fucking right!

…………………………….

So that’s it. Not too exciting, but thought I’d share what’s going on out there in bedrooms across America. Sad, but true.

 

Self-Indulgent LSAM Stats History

So, I’m trying to get back into blogging, and it seems to be starting to flow again.

Eros Galicia – Sensual caricia (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

It’s been awhile since I’ve actually been active here, posting erratically, not looking at new blogs, and, fuck, there is a good percentage of my blogroll that are completely inactive or not even there anymore.

In lieu of this, I have started to make some changes and upgrades here at LSAM. New WP theme, some new widgets, blah blah blah. I’m also working on updating my blogroll and redoing my categories and such, as being that they were decided upon at the beginning, they no longer seem appropriate. Or perhaps I’m trying to avoid working on a new novel. Regardless, the goal is to try and make LSAM a bit more user friendly (**sidenote: I use the phase “a bit” all the time: “I’ll be there in  a bit,” “Give me just a bit,” etc. And every single time I say or write it, the feel of a plastic rod between my lips and teeth comes to mind. Every single time.**).

This project has got me looking as things, and surprisingly (**I’m going to brag a little bit here so give my ego some leg room**), I am proud to say that I’m astonished at what has happened here at LSAM.

This past Friday marked 14 months of blogging for me. It was also the day that I crossed the 150,000 views threshold. Now, I used to be a stat whore, but I really don’t give a shit about that now (well, maybe just a little; after all what is a writer without a reader?), but I had a look around on my stats page, and this is what I found…

• This is post 181, sent to nearly 328 followers.
• November 15th, 2012 was my best hit day ever, with 962 views. 
• Making Her Squirt the First Time is my top hitting post, coming in with over 30,000 views.
• The Perfect Blow Job is next, with nearly 9,000, closely followed by  A Guide to Female Masturbation, Nipple Play and Fundamentals of Nipple Torture, and Swallow, It’s Good For You: Health Benefits of Semen, which google must be liking as it is moving up the ranks fairly quickly.
• I get the majority of my hits from google, but many of you throw hits my way, with Jake coming in first, followed by Molly and Hy.
• And it seems I send most people to My Sex Life With Lola, Confessions of Your Husband’s Mistress and Accidental Masturbator.
• The most commented on post is Random Rant: Imagining I’m a Man, which I was surprised by. I thought it would be I’m not a Feminist, which comes in third.
• For Most Liked post, we’ve got a threeway tie: Good Intentions, The Hike and The Struggle.
• And my favorites: A Rant on Being Hyper sexual, Thoughts on Girl-Girl Sex, and the best piece I think I’ve ever written, Enjoying a Blow job: A Female’s Perspective.
• And in case you didn’t catch it the first time around, check out this Kinky Walrus. It’s well worth it!

So, thank you all for my self-indulgence. And thank you for listening. And reading. And commenting.

And here is a new song I’m in love with… *hugs and kisses* y’all.

Submissive’s Guide to Giving Head

submissive_sign (Photo credit: CapesTreasures.com)

Okay, okay. So that was kind of misleading. Well, sort of. See, I did write a Submissive’s Guide to Giving Head over the weekend, but I just didn’t publish it here, I did it over at Eden. It seems I have a minor obsession with this place.

But it’s weird. I kind of feeling like I’m cheating. I’ve got my lovely little blog here, that has been there for me for the last 11 months. And here I am, neglecting it, just for a few sex toys and orgasms (but cum on, really, who can blame me?).

And what makes it worse, this is exactly the type of stuff I wish I was still posting about. I love the factual pieces, and my masturbation guide, how to squirt and nipple torture posts are and always have been my most popular pieces. It’s what I set out to do, all those many months ago, and here I am, doing it some place else, not here.

*shrugs* It is what it is.

Anyway, I thought I’d throw out the link, just in case anyone wanted to read it! But of course, I can’t link because of WP. So here you go, if you care enough, you gotta do it old school.  http://www.edenfantasys.com/sexis/advice/submissive-s-guide-giving/

*hugs and kisses* y’all. Expect to hear from me soon. After all, I’m supposed to be writing a novel, and I need things to distract me! And it seems to be award season again in these parts!

(see that little widget at the bottom right hand side of my page. It should be reading 20k by the end of tonight. Still 4,000 words short, but I don’t think the 8,000 I pushed out the last two days is anything to scof about!)

Good Intentions…

Masturbation Month (Photo credit: bjo_)

So, I’m trying, truly I am.  Every night this week, I’ve thought about sitting down at the computer and writing and posting.  But one thing leads to another, and when I’ve got to choose between blogging and sleep, well, sleep tends to win over.  But this morning, I had some great thoughts for a few posts.  And I got up shortly after M, and had a little morning lovin, had some coffee, and after M left for work, I had an hour to spare.  So I get the computer, and I go to bed, and sit down to write.

And then I see my wand laying beside the bed.  And my body instantly responds (damn conditioning).  And visions of last night blur through my mind.  M’s cock in my mouth.  His mouth against my smooth lips.  His cock, cumming inside me.  His hand, buried deep into my cunt.  Me, soaking the sheets and bed.

And then my hand, instead of wandering over the letters of the keyboard, wanders to between my legs, where I can still feel M’s cum from this morning’s sex, now mixed with the new wetness of my own, caused by the memories swimming in my head.  And there was no hope of writing what I planned to write, no matter how good my intentions were, my body was demanding release.

So instead of wordpress, it was youporn.  And instead of constants and vowels, it was “mmm” and “ohs.”  And thirty minutes and four orgasms later, I’m writing this, instead of the piece I was planning, because that is all time allows, before the duties of work demand my attention.

So, again, the intention was good, but the orgasms were even better…

9 Weeks: Week 6

Stupid, stupid, stupid fucking 9 weeks project.  I’m at the point that this thing is just a thorn in my side.  I was just looking over the project, and the last post, Week 5, was done over two months ago.  What the fuck, LSAM?  Get this fucking thing finished!  Arghh!!

So, I’m going to try.  Week 6 is probably one of the more interesting thus far, as it brings a little kink in to play.  Week 6 is entitled “Breaking Out of Your Sexual Routine” and is basically about bring some spice into the bedroom.  Without further ado, here we go, diving into this nasty little thing.

Fantasies and Role-Play

Plaid skirt, nylons, shibari chest harness, spreader bar (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

• The article discusses how, as adults, most of our “Play time” is competitive, and someone always loses, such as in sports and games.  Unless we are “playing” in the bedroom, which, hopefully, means that everyone wins!  If you are new to sharing fantasies, start alone, and imagine what you like.  Think of the specifics:  the scenarios, characters, props, etc.  Verbalize these things to yourself, jot thee down if you have to.  Then, when you are ready, share them with your partner.  Discuss which things turn you both on, and what you are willing to “play.”
• And now the fun part.  Prepare you role-play out.  Outfits, for me, seem to be the easiest to start with.  Whether it’s a school girl (M’s favorite, by the way), a maid, or a naughty secretary, much of the time you may be able to come up with things from your own wardrobe.  If not, check out a local thrift shop.  If you want to go full-out, many online sex toy shops have thousands of “play” outfits to choose from.
• Get into character.  Talk like your character.  Use words your character would use.  Walk like them.  For instance, in the school girl scenario, twirling your hair around your finger and acting “meek” may make the experience.
• A big thing to remember…  Things do not always play out in life as they do in fantasy.  Communication is key to keep things exciting and not end up disappointed.  Do not be afraid to stop in the middle of something if you really want it to be going in a different direction.  But still, even with great communication, things are not going to be the same as they are in your head.  My suggestion?  Just roll with it, as you never know where things may end up!
• If you are role-playing something a bit kinky, and that is not part of your normal bedroom play, remember to implement a safe-word, especially if your fantasy involves non-consentual play.  This is not only important for you, but for your partner as well.  They need to know that you are safe and enjoying the scene, even if the words, “No, please, no” keep coming out of your mouth.

Playing with his Butt

A woman wearing a strap-on dildo about to engage in anal sex with a man. Português: Mulher vestindo consolo prestes a realizar sexo anal com homem. Deutsch: Eine Frau trägt einen Umschnalldildo, um mit einem Mann Analverkehr zu haben. עברית: אשה לובשת סטרפ-און דילדו ועומדת לקיים סקס אנאלי עם גבר (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

• “Bend Over Boyfriend”  There was a few different section regarding male anal play, and although I have little experience in this, I’m going to share what they put out, as well as throw in a few pointers of my own.  First, remember, the ass if full of nerves and things that feel pleasurable when touched, prodded, fondled, etc.  And these pleasures are not gender specific.  I have a lot of male friends that would cringe at the idea of anal play, mostly because they are fearful of their sexuality.  Regardless, anal play will feel good, even if you are straight.  But if you are uncomfortable with the idea, if it makes you clench your cheeks together, then don’t try it.  It’s okay not to want your ass played with just as much as it’s okay to want your ass played with.  Just don’t judge.  To each their own.
• Trust and communication are paramount to enjoying anal play, especially for a beginner.  Talk to your partner about your interest in it and what your limits are.  As things progress, keep these lines of communication open, especially during and after anal play.
•  Begin some anal play while you masturbate and incorporate small steps into your sex life.  Start with your fingers, not a fucking strap on, for christ’s sake.  Maybe throw in a rim job or two.  Maybe a small plug.  Take baby steps.    **Remember to practice safe anal play.  Use lots of lube.  Make sure the area is clean.  Some people are more comfortable wearing latex gloves during anal play.  Never ever have anything (finger, toy, cock, etc) in the ass, and then put it in another body part before washing it.**
• And then there is the real “Bend Over Boyfriend”:  Pegging.  Find a harness that you are comfortable with.  Ideally, you would buy one at a store where you have the opportunity to try it on for comfort and fit, but that is not a reality for many.  Either way, even if buying online, make sure the harness is snug, as you don’t want it slipping around.  There are many different styles, but as a rule, the more straps on the harness, the better control you will have during the “fucking.”  Make sure the dildo that fits the harness has a flared base, and is rather firm, as it is ass play, and even a real cock that’s not 100% hard is sometimes difficult to penetrate.  From my research, a 5″ dildo is a good size for beginners.  It’s not too big to be overwhelming, but is still long enough that you won’t be pulling out with every thrust.  Once you are in the act a few pointers…  Again, lots of lube.  You don’t need his first anal fucking to be dry.  Get into position and line up the dildo with his ass.  Let him push back against you, slowly, allowing his sphincter muscles to adjust (do you remember the first few times you got fucked in the ass, and going in an inch felt like a fucking mile?).  Once full penetration has been accomplished, keep your thrusts slow and shallow, at least until you see how he reacts.  Add in some sexual touches, on his back, his shoulders.  Depending on his size, you may be able to reach around and fondle his junk, but maybe not.  And, as a sidenote, many men lose their erections during anal play.  Keep that in mind if you notice he’s at half mast…  Don’t panic, I’m sure he’s still enjoying himself.
• And, just because I can’t say it enough, talk, talk, talk.  Before, during, and after!!

Tantra

• “Tantric sexuality represent one of the oldest examples of a philosophy of spiritual sexuality”.  Tantra, literally ”tools for expansion”, is a practice that is 1500 years old.  By adding elements of tantra to your bedroom play, you can increase awareness of yourself, your partner, and the energy you are creating.  It can amplify not only your sexual energy, but add to the whole experience as well, allowing you to slow things down and focus on each individual moment.  By doing this, it can lead to greater awareness, and a better understanding of our sexual selfs.  Some say it can even lead to enlightenment.  Meditation, before and during, assist with the tantric practices.  I am no expert on tantra, although tantric exercises are what aided me in learning my body better, especially my squirting orgasms, and therefore, I am not going to elaborate on the specifics of tantra.  If you are interested, I suggest you look around for some literature on the subject, or find a teacher in your area.  There is a lot of good information out there, but some of it is bullshit, so keep that in mind.
• As a final note on tantra, remember, even though much of it is sexually based, it is not focused on orgasm or ejaculation.  It is about awareness and focusing…

A Few Final Things

English: Two women touching each other Deutsch: Lesbischer Sex: Eine nackte Frau greift einer anderen Frau, die nur mit einem Seidenslip und Netzstrümpfen bekleidet ist, in die Unterwäsche, während die letztere der erstgenannten die Hand zwischen die Beine legt (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

• One person show:  Masturbate in front of your partner.  This demonstrates how and where you like to be touched.  Are you shy?  Then blindfold yourself first.  Start playing, and then have your lover quietly come in and sit down.  It may be way more fun than you ever imagined…
• Mutual Masturbation:  If you don’t mutual masturbate with your partner, then I suggest this is the one thing you should take from this whole post.  It can be an intimate, fulfilling experience.  Lay with one another, touch yourself.  Touch each other.  Watch.  Mutual masturbation can benefit a partnership in many ways.  It can ease the strain when one partner wants to fuck more than the other.  It can show your partner what you like.  You can watch how they touch themselves.  Shit.  This one is getting me all distracted, as watching M touch himself often puts me over the edge.  Damn, I’m getting excited just thinking about it!
• Take Breaks:  When your fucking, take random breaks.  Catch your breath.  Slow down.  Relax.  Talk for a moment.  And then jump back in.  It can rejuvenate the experience, and often lead to more intense orgasms.

Other Things to Read

• I’ve added a few links to some of my previous posts that relate to some of the things above, just in case you wanted a bit more information…
• The Prostate:  Your Guy’s G-Spot
• Mindful Sex
• Masturbation as Stress Relief
• Men and Fantasies
• Sharing Fantasies

TMI — Masturbation!!

1. How often do you masturbate?

• Normally, when I’m not homeless, I masturbate daily, at least once.  Sometimes five or six times.  Now that I’m living back with my pops, it’s WAY less…  And, truly, M has been fucking the shit out of me since I’ve fucked up, and we screwed at least once a day for over two weeks…  Interestingly, I just realized, I’ve only masturbated once during that time, unless he was watching me.  Does it count if he’s watching me, or is that considered foreplay?

2. What are you doing to celebrate Masturbation month?

• Well, I didn’t have anything planned.  But I did just buy my first glass dildo, so perhaps I should have an all night masturbation party…  Just me, my glass piece, my wand, and some lube.  Hmmm…  That sounds like fun.

3. Do you like to watch your partner masturbate? a. Yes, it turns me on. b. Sometimes, because it gets my partner very aroused. c. Not really, it’s boring. d. No, it’s a turn off. e. I’ve never experienced it but I’d like to.

• I LOVE to watch men masturbate, and especially M.  Just the other day, I made a 15 minute video of him stroking himself, and you can hear my moans as I’m rubbing myself off, again and again while watching.  So, I guess my answer would be *A*, but times about 156, because it does so much more than just turn me on.  It turns me into a fucking leaky faucet.

4. Do you let your partner watch you masturbate? a. Yes, it turns me on to be watched. b. Sometimes, because it gets my partner very aroused. c. No, it’s embarrassing. d. I’ve never experienced it but I’d like to.

• Ummm…  Yes.  I let M watch me masturbate.  And he often takes pictures.  And then he fucks me.  And then I suck his cock.  And then he fucks me some more.  So, again, *A* multiplied by 156.

5. Mutual masturbation? Yea or Nay?

1. What the fuck people!?!  Who doesn’t like mutual masturbation?  Really.  If you don’t, please let me know, because, buddy, you and I are going to have a long talk.  Mutual masturbation is sometimes better than sex.  Not always, but sometimes.  So, me?  It’s a big fat fucking YEA.

6. If you had an all-expense-paid trip to San Francisco to attend Masturbate-a-thon 2012 would you go and masturbate? Why or Why not?

• Yes.  I would go and masturbate for charity.  I mean, cum on, it’s like earning money while eating chocolate.  It doesn’t get much better than “Come for a Cause.”  Fuck, I may just spend most of the night of the 27th masturbating just because it’s going on, even though I won’t be there…

http://masturbate2012.tumblr.com/

The Center for Sex & Culture Sunday, May 27, 10am-midnight Arrive by 9pm $40 minimum self-sponsorship; or bring sponsorship form with pledges

All genders, all orientations welcome to explore self-pleasure in a supportive group environment. Check the next newsletter for more detail about this year’s Thon, and join us to Come for a Cause!

All donations and pledges support CSC’s operations and programs.

Bonus: Are you addicted to masturbating?

Um…  This is a hard one.  But, most likely, yes.  It’s detailed in this post, but it may not truly be the masturbation, but more the getting off that does it to me.  idk.

And, just as a side note, due to all this talk on masturbation.  My biggest hit post of all time…  A guide to female masturbation.  Almost 1,000 hits on this, over 200 more than the next closest.  So, don’t be ashamed.  Don’t be embarrassed.  We all do it.  And, I promise, your fingers won’t fall off…

*hugs and kisses*~LSAM

————-

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

The song of the day is…

Tori Amos — Icicle

Masturbation as Stress Relief

So, here is the situation.  We’ve officially moved in with my dad.  M and I have one room (but are

Eros Galicia - Sensual caricia (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

sleeping in separate beds, as M has to lay diagonal across the double bed because he’s so fucking tall).  And the baby and girls are in the room right next to us.  Needless to say, our sex life is currently lack, but we are working it out, being creative…

But even worse than just twice a week sex…  I haven’t masturbated since April 3rd.  What the fuck!  That was 16 days ago!!  Again, can I say, WHAT THE FUCK!?!  I normally masturbate almost everyday, sometimes multiple times a day.  I would say on average, about 10 times a week, spread about in different ways.  Sometimes it’s less.  Sometimes…  it’s WAY more.

Well, today, I found myself completely and utterly frazzled, running around like a nut, doing 273 different things at once.  I decided I needed to mediate, and found myself at a pond near a country club.  I found a grassy spot under a tree, and sat for 25 minutes.  And my mind raced.  Over and over again.  When I was done, I felt a bit better, but still not quite centered, like I normally do.

Fast forward a few hours and I’m talking to a friend.  And she flat-out says to me, “You need to masturbate.”  And I kind of laughed about it, but I’ve contemplated this ever since.  I masturbate a lot.  To get off.  To relax.  To help me fall asleep.  Hmmm…  Maybe to deal with stress?

Can my lack of focus really be related to not rubbing one down?  The anxiety and fragmentation of my thoughts and actions?  As I said, I continued to think about this, through dinner, through the baby’s bedtime.  And I was fucking wet, just from thinking about masturbating…  Not even imagining doing it, but just thinking about this whole concept.  Shortly after the munchkin was asleep, I followed M to bed, and we fucked.  Good and hard, but quietly (both baby and step-mom in the house).  And I came.  A lot.

But now, here I sit, 3 hours later…  Horny as hell.  And I’m trying to figure out where I can go in the house where no one will hear my wand.  Because, although my libido is sated, I really want to touch myself.  Not necessarily to cum, although I wouldn’t be complaining if I did, but just because.  Because my hand is aching to do it.  Rubbing around in the wetness, a mixture of his cum and mine.  My clit is aching for it.  Hard, I can already tell, wanting to be touched.  Damn.

………………………………………………………….

Anyway…  The point I guess, of telling you all that, was to say that I was thinking about the health benefits, particularly the mental health benefits of masturbation.  And decided to write about it.  And that way, if someone in your life bitches about how much you touch yourself, you can come back at them, claiming you’re doing it for your health.

Physical Health

For men, masturbation can increase their immune system and lower the risk for prostate

Caucasian man in act of masturbation Deutsch: Nackter liegender Mann beim Masturbieren (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

infection.  And, get this, masturbation might be able to prevent cancer.  This is from a FoxNews report  (I know, I know!!):  ”A survey of men found the more frequently a man masturbates between the ages of 20 and 50, the less likely they are to get prostate cancer. In fact, those who masturbated more than five times a week were one-third less likely to develop prostate cancer.”

In women, regular masturbation seems to help build resistance to yeast infections, reduces the severity of menstrual cramps, helps with back pain, and actually even increase your pain tolerance (especially if you masturbate like me…  I tend to get a bit rough).

Mental Health

For both sexes, masturbation can have significant mental health benefits.  For instance, it reduces stress (no wonder I’m so fucking crazy right now!).  When your mind is running everywhere, like mine was today, masturbation gives you the opportunity to slow down and focus on only one thing, which will help you to relax, both during the act and after.

And engaging in any type of sexual activity increases the amount of dopamine in the brain, which is what allows us to feel pleasure (particularly in our VTA or “reward circuit,” which is where the pleasure experienced from drug use also occurs).  Masturbation also releases endorphins (which are very similar to opiates), which act as “happy pills,” producing a calming feeling.

Masturbation is a natural sleep sedative, but can also increase energy levels, by giving you a little “pick me up” (no need for the bit of white powder on the hand mirror anymore).

Masturbation also tends to increase self-esteem and body-confidence.  It allows you to become

Female masturbation with an electric massager. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

comfortable with yourself, and learn your body and what feels good.  This, my friends, will make your sex life MUCH better.  Once you are comfortable and can learn what makes you cum, then you can teach your partner, or do it yourself when you’re fucking, and sex just got a whole lot more interesting.

So, I think I need to go rub one down.  Just not sure where to go…  Thinking I may just have to trek out to the barn to “check on the horses”…

**A disclaimer:  It is thought that frequent masturbation, especially when used specifically for stress relief, can lead to dependence and addiction.  Touch yourself with caution.**

I’m not too concerned about this, but I came across it more than twice, so thought I should throw it out there.  Me.  I’m not worried about it.  There are worse things to be addict to.  And, fuck, who’s to say the difficulty I’m having right now isn’t masturbation withdrawal?  Maybe that’s the problem; maybe I’m DTing.  Fuck.  Makes me want to touch myself more.  Good night my fellow masturbators, I’ve got something I need to take care of…

And the first song that came to mind…

Masturbation, Squirting, and Nipple Torture…

Nipple Clamps. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I’m vain, dear reader.  Or perhaps insecure.  I’m not sure which.  Most likely both.  More than I would like to admit.  I say this, because I am addicted to checking my stats.  Not the 36-24-36 kind of stats (which are, btw, 37, 29, 35) but the stupid fucking wordpress stats.  What particularly intreges me is the search engine hits, which ran like a mini meme in our little community not that long ago…  But I’ve been thinking about this…  My biggest hits, everyday, are female masturabtion, female squirting, and nipple torture.  The nipple torture still throws me, but, fuck, it is what it is…  and I must say, I do like some rough nipple play.

So, the point, my sweets, is how do I elaborate on these things…  I’ve written a basic piece on female masturbation.  I’ve written a basic guide to squiting.  And had a rather detailed post about nipple play.  But, if these are things that people are wanting to know about, where do I take them from here?  I’ve been thinking about some more on masturbation, and I’ve got some ideas bouncing around in that thing  I call a mind…  And, on a personal level, my experience with squirting has…  well, developed, for lack of a better term, since I wrote my squirting piece (I can never say thank you enough, dear Hy).

I guess, when push comes to shove, LSAM has become a narsissistic ranty place to me lately, and I’d like to refocus, at least a bit.  And, even as these words leak out from my fingertips, have no doubt that LSAM will still have personal accounts and it’s fair share of rants, but I guess I’m trying to take it back a step…  And I need your assistance.  What, my kinky readers, should I write about…

And the song of the day is perhaps one of the best bands of all time…

Violent Femmes’ 36-24-36

A Good Jockey…

With all this talk of male masturbation and gay porn, after “finishing up” first last night, I

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continued to watch the guys, and I began thinking about how many male bottoms masturbate to finish.  Now I understand that it’s porn.  And porn is often times not realistic to life.  And I know that the industry tends to like cum shots, so maybe that’s why.  And really, I’m pretty damn fresh into the gay porn scene and all, so it could just be a fluke.

But my thought process continued, and I wondered if it’s as satisfying, jacking off while being filled, as it is to be buried in someone’s ass, fucking them.  Obviously, I don’t know.  I do know that I like to be filled, fucked.  And that if I’m being fucked in ass, I will most likely be either touching myself or have my wand out.  Actually, I tend to touch myself a lot when I’m getting fucked, anal or otherwise.  Unless I’m holding on to something for balance, security, or playing with M’s nipples, at least one hand is on my clit, my nipples, or in between M and I, feeling his cock slid in and out.  I don’t know.  Maybe it’s the same.

But it got me thinking about pegging…  And if I’m fucking a guy, what I would want to do.  Because I love it when M is behind me, and leans down on my back, wrapping an arm around me, reaching a hand between my legs to play with my clit.  I love it!  From the extra stimulation, to his weight on my back, to hearing his breathing in my ear, it takes the whole experience to another level.  So, if I were to ever be on the giving end (which I sadly doubt will ever happen), I think as I was fucking his hot ass, I would be reaching around and stroking his hard cock.  And I would stroke him, fucking his ass, until he came.

Which leads me to a story I once heard from a dear friend.  He spent a lot of time in jail from the 70s through the early 90s.  The only time he meet his father was the first time he went into prison.  Which happened to be the same day his dad was released from the same facility.  The guards were kind enough to give them a few hours together, which would end up being the only ones they would ever have.  But, my friend, he told me that his dad gave him the best piece of advice he could have ever asked for:  ”A good jockey always rides with a whip in his hand.”  And my friend, although hetero as they come, told me he had the cutest “girlfriend” on the block…

I don’t know.  I’m loving the gay boy sex though…

9 Weeks: Week 4 Orgasms

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Alright…  So after last’s weeks Bust, I was kind of looking forward to the next installment of the 9 Weeks to Better Sex.  It is officially Week 4 and it’s about orgasms, what they are and how to get them.  I guess this is important, but really, it didn’t teach me anything I didn’t already know.  Let me explain…

Now I don’t mean to brag, but I have a ton of orgasms.  And, now, it doesn’t take long for them to come along.  Especially if I’m fucking.  In a normal bout of sex, including foreplay, I’d say I come anywhere between 3 to 10 times, depending on what we’re doing and how long it takes.  When there’s marathon sex, I couldn’t even begin to guess.  10, 15, 30.  I really don’t know.  If we’re engaged in a kinky, randy fuck session, and I’m really aroused, after a handful of orgasms, sometimes I just become a bundle of nerves, sort of like I’m in a constant climax.  Jesus, it’s fucking great.

So, the information on orgasms didn’t really do a whole lot for me.  But maybe it will for some of you.  So I’ll give you the cliff-notes version of the information.

Erotic Education

• Types — There is always talk of different types of orgasms:  clitoral, vaginal, G-Spot, anal (anal wasn’t mentioned, but I’ve had orgasms from anal sex, without other stimulation, so I threw it out there), etc.  Apparently there is no actual “official” evidence if there are different types of orgasm and no one can seem to agree.  The way I feel about it…  An orgasm is a gift.  Big or small, I’ll take all I can get.
• If they aren’t happening — This talks about different reasons you aren’t cumming, including stress, pressure, health issues, medications.  Good to read if you’re not able to rub one down.  I’ve had those moments (I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, Zoloft is the devil!) where no matter what I did, I couldn’t get off.  But I don’t really remember how I got over it or what changed.  But just remember, sex is still good, even without orgasms.  There is touching and kissing and rubbing and stroking and licking and…  Yep, no problem with orgasms…
• First one — For those of you that have never had one.  Basically, you need to start masturbating.  Now.  I started orgasming through masturbation before I even kissed a boy with tongue.  I think the first time I actually tried, it happened.  I guess I’m a lucky girl.

Getting Your Hands Dirty

• Building Better Orgasms — This is all about practice, practice, practice.  It has a really good exercise to try during masturbation.  Basic idea is to bring yourself to the brink, and then back off.  Then do it again.  And again.  For 10 times before you allow yourself to cum.
  

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  I made it to four.  No self-control with LSAM.  Sorry *shrugs*  Maybe I’ll try again, but once I’m that close, my vagina gets a brain of its own and just sort of takes over the rest of me…

• Intercourse — Talks about ways to have orgasms through intercourse, and the difficulty that many women have.
• G-Spot — Discusses the mystery of this wonder spot.  There are still people out there who don’t believe that it exists.  Apparently, they are either prudes or really shitty lovers.  Because it’s there.  Boy is it ever.
• Multiple Orgasms for Men — Discusses the tantra principles behind multiple orgasms for dudes.  Apparently ejaculation and orgasm are not the same, but tend to just occur within moments of one another.  I’ve actually bought a book about this, but have gotten distracted by other BDSM reading.  I’ll let you know when I get back to it.  Maybe I can put M through some experiments.

Journal

• First orgasm, as mentioned above, I don’t remember specifically.  I’m sure I was in 6th grade, so either 11 or 12.  It was after reading a romance novel.  It was either from pressure cupping or riding the side of my water-bed.  And it was very intentional.
• As much as I hate to admit it, I’ve faked orgasms.  How many, I don’t know.  Less than 30.  But I don’t do it anymore.  I won’t.
• My own personal opinion of different types of orgasms…  Well, I’ve experienced orgasms in different ways, but I can not classify that they felt different, and in that same sense, sometimes the same type of stimulation will bring on a completely different level of orgasms.  I think they can be brought on any time of erotic touching and, if your head is in it, then it may not even need to be a traditional “erogenous” zone.
• This question literally reads, “If you do like orgasms…”  What the fuck!  Who doesn’t like orgasms.  Dumbest statement ever!  Anyway, I love orgasms because they feel so damn good.  Because it is the ultimate hedonistic experience.  Because it turns him on.  Because, for a time, I do not have control of anything.  Because, for the briefest moment, I am nothing and everything all at once.

I know this is only week 4 out of 9, so I’m not even half way through, but I’ve been sort of disappointed in this thing so far.  And I guess if I didn’t get off so much, this one would have been way more interesting.

And really, if you’re sex life is kind of boring and you are looking to spice it up the 9 weeks could help.  If you are looking to take on something together to have more exciting sex because you are either embarrassed or super vanilla, then this might help.  But at this point, it’s not really doing much for me.  There have been some interesting pieces I’ve stumbled across doing it, but then there was the horrible exercise of week 2 (*shivers*).  But maybe I’m judging too quickly.  We’ll see what’s up for week 5.  Maybe it will be titled “Hanging from the ceiling” or something as equally off the hook!